Scammers Ruined Me (socially)
Today, while looking busy at the mall here in Jakarta, I notice a group of 6 or 7 students following me, giggling. It’s one of those weird things here in Jakarta, way waaay more intense than any of the other cities in the past few days, EVERYONE looks at you. They stare you to death. You take one tiny bit of some food, a group of 15 people nearby watch you in super high-tension focus throughout the process. What’s so weird about me? I’m just a freaking tourist. There’s billions of us (ok not in Jakarta). Anyways, so here’s what happened today:
Moments later, the bravest of these kids approaches me: “Sir, sir! Can I ask question?” - and that was basically my cue line - I’ve seen this before in Shanghai and Beijing. A supposedly “recently arrived” group of students, who happen to study English and something else, will turn out to be really friendly, asking question about your country, yourself and your travel plans and tips. Minutes pass by, expecting them to ask for money or some sort of deal. Nothing happens for a while, nice conversation, but THEN, they’ll ask you if you want to join them for some tea. Why? Well, because you’re such a nice person and the foreigner they always wished they could talk to for a bit! And you, curious traveler, always up for new local friends. And that’s where they get you, they’ll take you to an expensive tea shop, you get to have the bill, plus, you won’t get out of that weird alley-street basement without also looking at some souvenirs, priced considerably higher than at any airport of this world. It’s a known scam, I think they even call it the Beijing Student Scam. Anyways, back to the story:
I answer her question: “Let me guess, you are students, right?” - she nods, “yes!” - “… and you just arrived here?” — she looks a bit puzzled, also says “yes!” — “… and you would love to talk to a foreigner, correct?” — “Yes sir! Can I ask question?” ….
And that’s about where I explode. I go nuts at that little poor girl telling her I know what they’re trying to do. I am not just some random tourist they can scam just because I’m running around in an expensive mall. I know exactly what they’re after and how the scam works and I was in China and I’ve seen it all!!!
Girl gives me a shocked look, other girl comes over, “sir, it’s for a school project, our teacher said this” …. and I think, man, don’t they get it? I KNOW THE SCAM! I KNOW EVERY BIT OF IT! So I say: “Alright, I know you’re about to trick me and I’ll make sure you all end up at security if this continues, so, what is that question you supposedly have???”
Girl checks her bag, finds a sheet of paper with hand-written questions and asks: “Can I record?” - I nod - “Ok sir, where are you from?” - Austria - “What food do you like in Jakarta?” - Not sure - “What languages do you speak?” - English German - “What have you already seen in Jakarta?” — I stop her, starting to wonder if this ends up in some sort of figuring me out then giving me advice plus ripping me off and say: Alright, where is this going? How many questions?” - “8, she says”… and continues. After answering all of it, I start getting a weird feeling that they’re all genuine. The girl is shaking like I just scared the shit out of her and her friends stand like 2m away, giving me the creepy scared looks. Final question was if she can take a photo and get my email address? I say ok, why the email address? She says because her teacher said that they have to try to find pen pals.
Nice. So, I’ve been super mad at these people, basically the most asshole I can be. And that to a group of 15-16 year olds who will never talk to a foreigner again. Nice work, Roman. Plus, she was shaking like crazy when she gave me her e-mail address and I said it’s ok, but they were close to running away I assume.
As they were about to head off, I called them back, asking for the kid with the best English (which was another kid of course, the shyest nerd of the group, as usual) and explained my temper. Not sure if they understood what I was trying to tell them. I told them about Beijing, and Shangai, and scammers, and that all tourists will think they are scammers and it’s going to be tough for them. The girl finally responded: “Ok sir, thanks for the trick!” …. what? I will never know.
So, that means I’m pen pals with a 15-year old girl from Jakarta now. And I complained about the weirdos hanging out with teenage girls in Bangkok. Look at me…
