A Word About The Night
Things have changed a lot for me since the beginning of this year. Last year, I had a very nice apartment, a close to 7-year relationship, a nice job in Vienna where I could do what I wanted, regular paychecks, a fresh book on the market, a large bed, time to cook regularly, and an uncertain future. Fast-forward: Today, August 2009, I finally have certainty on what’s going to happen in the coming year, but none of the other things I mentioned exist anymore. It’s all done.
Right now, I sleep on a matress, on the ground, in some girl’s room I don’t even really know, worse, she doesn’t even know I’m sleeping here either. A close friend set me up. The room is about 3x5sqm, very small, I have my window open and it’s raining and raining and raining. So, as I am laying here, I just thought about how odd this is, me, here, now, alone - how did everything go so fast and have me end up here so quickly?
I think this is what I like so much about rainy nights, they force you to think about a lot of things you’d normally push away and hide in the back of your mind. I always wonder, what other people are thinking about, that very moment now, as I am listening to the rain. If somebody else is listening and thinking, or if they are all too busy or asleep and not hear it. I need to find out why rain makes us feel so oddly fine and calm on the one hand, but makes us stay awake in bed just a little longer to spend the time on thinking about things we usually hide away.
I think with rainy nights it’s like being drunk: If you are on your own, it kicks in and makes you very emotional, but you might just need it once in a while, if you share it with someone, it makes both feel just perfectly happy having someone around sharing the moment, making it timeless.
To all of you sharing the rainy mood tonight, enjoy, it’s time you should value.
To those who don’t share it, think about who else is listening to it, there are thousands of you, or us, wondering, thinking and enjoying the sleep blending in softly.
Goodnight.
